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A Cowboys Guide
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Origin of
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Two Turkeys
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Last Updated - October 1, 2002

Texas Tales, Jokes and Anecdotes
Texas Cowboy Humor For All Ages
Edited by: John Watson

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Texas Tales are like Taffy
The more you stretch them,
the better they are

The Old Codger

The Old Codger for Govenor

Texas Brags

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A Texan will tell you that he has the biggest and best of anything. If not the biggest, then
the most expensive. An Italian loves his good food, a Frenchman enjoys his good wine
and a Texan just loves to brag. Texas, cows and cowboys all go together and I have
some of all of it here, including a lot of bull.

I have lived in Texas for the past 60 years and have collected quite a list of Texas
Tales, which I hope you enjoy.

Texas has always been known as the land of lots of open spaces. There is a good reason
for that. The cowboys riding their horses every day herding cattle, checking fences and
whatever, collect some of the aroma from their horses and have you ever smelled a hot
sweaty horse? Considering that they only get a bath once a week, and during droughts
maybe once a month, they need plenty of room.

Shotgun Showers

In West Texas the rains can be very spotty. Sometimes you can see three or four
showers at a time, neither covering a very large area. These have come to be known as
"Shotgun Showers." This is the story of how that name came to be.

A hunter was out on a quail hunt one September afternoon and as he was walking across
the ranch, he came upon a cross fence. As any good hunter would do, he leaned his gun,
a double barrel 12 gauge shotgun, against a fence post so that he could crawl between the
barbed wire safely.

As the hunter was crawling through the fence one of those spot showers came over.
When he got through the fence and turned to get his gun, he found that one barrel was
overflowing with rainwater and the other was still powder dry.

*********

When Lyndon B. Johnson was president he often came back to Texas on the weekends to
spend time on his ranch near Johnson City. He would often take his boat out on Lake
Lyndon B. Johnson on the nearby Colorado River.

One Sunday afternoon he and Lady Bird were taking a leisurely cruise on the lake when
Lyndon stopped the boat in the middle of the lake and asked Lady Bird, who was in the
bow of the boat, to take the binoculars and look around the lake shore to see if there
was anyone on the shore.

After looking all around the lake she said, “Lyndon, there’s not a soul in sight.”

“Look one more time,” Lyndon said. “Make sure there is no one on the shore.”

Taking up the binoculars one more time, Lady Bird looked around the lake again.
Putting the binoculars down, she turned to Lyndon and said, “There is no one in sight
anywhere on the shore of the lake.”

“Okay,” Lyndon said. “I’ve just got to try to walk on that water one more time.”

**********************

One day a New Yorker stopped in the little West Texas town of Rankin. When he got
out of his car the wind was blowing so hard he had to lean into the wind as he walked to
keep it from blowing him down. As he approached the street corner he spotted a local
man standing there holding onto the lamp post. He asked the local, “Does the wind blow
like this all the time?” “No sir,” was the reply, “Sometimes it changes and comes from
the other direction.”

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An Englishman had visited Texas and was telling his friends about his trip.
One fellow ask, "What most impressed you about Texans".
He replied, "Their confidence. A Texan took me duck hunting and we sat in a blind all
day and never saw a thing. Then about sundown a lone duck flew overhead, so
high you could hardly see it. When it was directly overhead the Texan raised his
shotgun and fired. The duck kept right on flying".
Then the Texan turned to me in amazement and said, "Son, yore witnessing
a miracle. Thar flies a dead duck".

Dennis Lowe
Corpus Christi, TX

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Texas has always been known as the number one natural gas producing state. That is
really no surprise seeing as the number of Taco Bells we have serving bean burritos.

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The Pegasus, or flying horse, has been a symbol of Dallas since 1934 when a
40-foot-long neon version was installed atop the Magnolia Building, at the time
the tallest building in Dallas.

In fact, there were two Pegasus’s atop the Magnolia Building, one on either side of the
pole upon which they rotated. In the 1930’s when the Magnolia Building was built,
Dallas was a booming metropolis and wishing to step out ahead of their sister city, Ft
Worth; known as ‘Cowtown,’ they placed two Pegasus’s atop the building so that
no one would think of Dallas as a ‘One Horse Town.’


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