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A Sobering Situation

Early day life in Texas could be harsh. A young couple, married in Abilene,
homesteaded a place near Snyder, some distance west of Abilene. The first winter there
was really bad and the young man caught pneumonia and died. Not wanting to stay there
by herself, the young lady moved back to Abilene with her family.

As soon as the weather warmed up the young lady decided she would like to have her
deceased husbands remains moved to the cemetery nearby so she could visit his grave.
She went to the local funeral director to see about getting this done. The funeral director
agreed to take care of the arrangements and sent two of his men to disenter the remains at
Snyder and bring them back to Abilene.

The two men, Sam and Jake, traveled to Snyder by buggy and located the cemetery
where the young man was buried. After digging up the coffin, they discovered that there
was no room in the buggy to put it. Not wanting to be out the expense of getting a
wagon, they decided to take the body from the coffin and place it on the buggy seat
between them.

After filling in the grave the two got started on their way back to Abilene. By this time
they decided that they needed a good stiff drink. Stopping at a saloon in Snyder, they
didn’t want to leave the corpse in the buggy by itself so they spotted a drunk loitering
nearby and offered him fifty cents to watch their buggy for them while they went inside
to get a drink, telling him that their buddy was asleep.

After the two men went inside the saloon the drunk they left to watch the buggy started
talking to their ‘buddy.’ After not being able to get a reply from him, the drunk walked
over to the buggy and shook him to wake him up. That is when the drunk realized it was
a corpse in the buggy. This presented an interesting situation.

Going to the door of the saloon and looking inside the man saw that the two men from
the buggy were drinking pretty heavy. Knowing that they would be really drunk when
they came out, he decided to have some fun. Removing the corpse from the buggy, he
propped it up against the porch post in front of the saloon and got in the buggy in
its place.

Seeing the two men coming out of the saloon, the man stiffened up across the buggy seat
just as the corpse had been. The two thanked the corpse for watching their buggy, untied
the horse from the hitching rail, got in the buggy and started on their way.

A short time later Sam turns to Jake and says, “Jake, does this corpse feel a little
warm to you?”

“It sure does,” Jake replied.

At this time the corpse says, “If you had been where I have, you would be warm too.”

Sam and Jake sobered up, swore off liquor and never took another drink.