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Texas Astronomer Develops Astro-Telescope
Discovers Life On Another Planet

Dateline: Big Bend

Robert Alston, a longtime astronomer with the Davis Observatory in the Big Bend area of
Texas has developed what he calls the Astro-Telescope. Robert is a very reclusive type
person, but having known him from our school days, this reporter did manage to arrange
a meeting with him last week.

When asked for a description of his new telescope, this is what Robert had to say.

Vision, like light, spreads outward from the origination point. In the case of vision that
would be our eye. You have a main focus of sight, the particular item you are looking at,
but you also have the outside, or peripheral vision.

A good example of the spread of light is your cars headlights at night. The main focus of
light is on the road ahead of you but part of the light also spreads outward to light up the
roadside. A light beam can be narrowed considerably with the use of a spotlight, but
there is still some light spread then.

Now, that said, letís see how this affects astronomy. With our most powerful telescopes,
we start with a small origin of sight. This is a concentrated line of sight similar to the
light from a spotlight, yet it has a tendency to spread out over the vast distances of space.
Starting from an origination point measured in inches, by the time you view our nearest
planet in the solar system, that view has spread out over several miles or hundreds of
miles, and the farther you reach out into the universe, the broader this area of
vision becomes.

Now the scientists have concentrated light into a very narrow beam in the form of a laser
that can be projected over great distances and still remain a very narrow concentrated
beam of light. This was where I got the idea for my new telescope. If I could
concentrate the line of vision from a telescope and keep it in a narrow band, then we
would be able to zoom in close enough to examine the tracks of the Mars Explorer,
among other things.

By using an Electro-magnetic field and the latest in computer science, I was able to
concentrate my line of vision into a very narrow field. Finally, I was ready to check my
telescope out. The pollution in our atmosphere can wreck havoc with the view from
most locations on earth.

The only alternatives would be to take it into orbit to try it out; or, take it to the top of a
high mountain to get above the pollution. My telescope being a portable, battery
powered, model I decided on the mountain top, and Mt Everest being the highest, that
is where I headed.

I flew to Nepal and had soon made arrangements for a guide and crew to get me and my
telescope to the top of the mountain.

Finally, we made it to the top of Everest and the view was superb. The clouds were
below us, the sky was deep blue and the air clear and crisp. I could hardly wait to get the
telescope set up and try it out. It did not take long to get set up and now the moment of
truth had finally arrived. What would I be able to find in the heavens?

I took my first look in the telescope, and boy, was I surprised. I had not aimed at any
particular planet, just aimed out into space to see what I could find. To my utter
amazement, I was looking at a patch of red cane. I had no idea which planet I was
looking at, if it was even one in our solar system. I did know that it must have an
atmosphere similar to that of earth. First, you need an atmosphere for plant life to
survive and, secondly, I could see the cane moving as if blown by a breeze.

I just had to back off and think about this for a bit. Now, Mars is known as the Red
Planet, but that, as we know, is from the red rock and dust that is on the surface, not from
any plant life, so that ruled out Mars as being the planet I was looking at.

Going back to the telescope and taking another look I really got the surprise of my life.
There among the stalks of cane were some creatures moving around. Not only did this
planet have an atmosphere with plant life, it also had some type animal life. With my
astro-telescope I was the first human to view this; until now unknown, planet with its
plant and animal life forms.

While still viewing the life forms on this planet and contemplating upon the ramifications
this discovery would have upon the scientific world, I reached up to scratch the back of
my head which had begun to itch. What I saw then really shocked me, and it explained

By using an electromagnetic field to concentrate the line of view I had left it with a
positive charge and coupled with earthís negative charge, opposites attracting, earthís
magnetic field had pulled my line of vision around the earth itself and I was actually
looking at the red hair on the back of my head. And the creatures? They were head lice,
which were making my head itch in the first place.

Heh, heh. Gotch ya.

John Watson
The Old Codger

You may read more of Johnís Texas Tales on the internet at:
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