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To Smart Women Everywhere

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I
know I'm not dumb.....  and I also know that I'm not blonde.  
-Dolly Parton-

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you
hardly ever see a smart woman with dumb guys.   
-Erica Jong-

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me.  One of
my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours.  I don't even want
to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner-

4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.   
-Wendy Liebman-

5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you gave birth.   
-Erma Bombeck-

6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be
wearing them.   
-Sue Grafton-

7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.   
-Roseanne Barr-

8. I think - therefore I'm single.   
-Lizz Winstead-

9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men  invade another country.   
-Elayne Boosler-

10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.    
-Maryon Pearson-

11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.    
-Gilda Radner-

12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man;  if
you want something done, ask a woman.    
-Margaret Thacher-

13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to
combine marriage and a career.    
-Gloria Steinhem-

14. I never married because there was no need.  I have three
pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have
a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.    
-Marie Corelli-

15. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.    
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-

16. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties?    How intelligent is it to start the day by tying
a noose around your neck?    
-Linda Ellerbee-

17. I am a marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man,
I keep the house.    
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

18. Send this to five bright women you know and make their day.

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