To Smart Women Everywhere
1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I
know I'm not dumb..... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you
hardly ever see a smart woman with dumb guys.
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of
my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want
to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free
5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you gave birth.
6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be
7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride
8. I think - therefore I'm single.
9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if
you want something done, ask a woman.
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to
combine marriage and a career.
14. I never married because there was no need. I have three
pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have
a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
15. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-
16. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying
a noose around your neck?
17. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man,
I keep the house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
18. Send this to five bright women you know and make their day.
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